literature

I Want My Stalker Back

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Mike: Dude. I died my hair red and quit drinking soda. 11:43 AM :U

Dylan: :U THE HELL. >U

Mike:  Well, since I've moved in with Ryan, I've lost all my demanding nature. >>; He said he was going to dye my hair and I let him. And the soda... ;~;

Dylan: D:

Mike:  God, I miss mountain dew. I've gone 2 1/2 weeks without a single one. eue;

Dylan: >> NO. Mike, we need to have an intervention. >U

Mike: -eye twitch- Eh?

Dylan:  You are my Mountain Dew addicted stalker friend. You will not change. -stern look-

Mike: :| Stop trying to tempt me! My mother bought me a mountain dew and I've been doing good to ignore it! Moofy, it's killing me!! ;n;

Dylan:  It's who you are! We all die eventually, so why not sit back and enjoy all the horrible shit in life that's bad for you? Like cold medicine and maple hazelnut coffee and... er, not so much cigarettes anymore... But regardless!

Mike:  :'C That's such a sad way to look at it... I've.. I've been doing so good. ene ....... Well... Ryan DID give me permission to have a little this weekend, because of this huge project... >>; HEY! Stop that! You should be cheering me on here, this stuff is killing me... Kinda...

Dylan: Better for you than cold medicine. What, you expected a Disney speech about being yourself from a GOTH? >U

Mike: It's not being myself! It's... just... stopping an addiction! >>

Dylan: You're yourself because your addicted!

Mike: That's... terrible though! 8C For a beverage to define me!? -holds mountain dew- :U ....

Dylan: Drink the damn soda!

Mike: But I've been doing so well!

Dylan: You are MY Mike! And MY Mike is addicted to Mountain Dew, cheesy vampire movies, and stalking me!

Mike:  >U Well... I-I'm changing! For the better. So says Ryan.

Dylan:  Fuck that asshole! He's using you! If one addiction goes, they all go! >U


Mike: ..... He likes vampire movies, though. ;_; And he bought me pink lemonade.... -runs off to get it-

Dylan: CHTHULHU FUCKING DAMNIT STALK ME! >U

Mike: ........................ But.... Before, you said you didn't /want/ me too. <:U

Dylan:  >> I, well, lied. It's, like, the only way we get to hang out with each other, since Evan's such a fucking douchebag. :U

Mike:  @_@ It's unhealthy for my brain though I shouldn't.... o_e Bad relationships.. but... moofy...

Dylan:  I. Wanna. Be. Stalked. You. Faggy. Douchebag. Vampire. Wannabe. Boner. >U

Mike:  And I want to staulk you. >> I do. .....

Dylan: THEN STALK ME YOU FUCKING R-TARD! I WANNA BE YOUR CHARLENE!!

Mike:  My Charlene? -chuckles and sighs- Why do you want me to staulk you so bad now?

Dylan: Because it's NORMAL. And it's YOU. I like stalker Mike obsessed with Dyl, not pansy little fagula Mike hanging out with Ryan. I fucking hate him. HATE, MIKE. HATE.

Mike: ... So you're saying that you want me... all to yourself? >} How romantic, Dyl~

Dylan: Shut up! It's a fear of change, not jealousy!

Mike: ^^ Of course it is. That's why you hate Ryan more than the other vamps in my group.

Dylan: He's an asshole and he stole my stalker! >U I'mma kill him!

Mike: .... N-no! Don't do that. o_o He's helping me, Dylan. It's nothing more than that, I swear!

Dylan: I want my stalker back! >'C

Mike: ..... Dylan. If you like having me around so much... Then why do I have to staulk you?

Dylan: Because it's what you do. It's, like, this special kind of attention that only YOU give.

Mike:  ; u ; That's so adorable. But if you'd just let me in a bit closer, I'd... I'd... give you so much more. : (

Dylan:  No! If I let you close, you'll be a douchebag like Evan is!

Mike: No I won't! I'm not like that at all! D:> If you gave me a chance...

Dylan: No! NO NO NO! You are the Zaboo to my Codex damnit!

Mike: ..... Wh-what? 0__o Dylan, you're being rediculous! You /like/ me!

Dylan: The lovable stalker with a crush. You are THAT. You get close and you'll become the asshole boyfriend.

Mike:  T_T Dylan, listen to yourself. I'm not like that and you know it. I'm not Evan. I never will be.

Dylan: ....... Well... You COULD be a stalker with benefits...

Mike: ..... Even though I'm sure that doesn't make /actual/ sense, i guess it could work... But only until I prove that I can be more! x3

Dylan: You'll, like, have all the benefits of being a boyfriend. But you'll be refered to as a stalker. :U

Mike: x3 Can I cuddle you? And... bring you on dates?

Dylan: ... I suppose... But you are my STALKER. NOT my BOYFRIEND.

Mike: ^^ Right. But... I'm still not getting rid of Ryan or drinking mountain dew yet. >>;

Dylan: Fine whatever. So... When's our first date, stalker? :U
So this is Vampired, for those who don't realize it yet. Started as a random kind of RP with *phantom4muah and esculated from there.

Basically Dyl has relationship issues. Hell, Dyl has lots of issues.

And Mike's completely normal, it seems. Except for his stalker tendencies. xP
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